Dearly Loved

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

Given that my go-to one-word response to, “How was Haiti?” has ended up being, “BABIES!” (despite all planning and forethought) and that this is a facet of Haiti that took and will continue to take up a lot of my team’s heart, some especially observant readers and teammates may be wondering why I’ve put off the topic. It is indicative of the natural depth of the trip as a whole and, flowing out of that depth, the difficulty I have encountered endeavoring to explain such a large part of it in one complete, cohesive piece. And I may have been waiting for pictures (thanks Edgar!).

Playful digression aside, I’ve come to realize that the neatly flowing, closed-circle creative work that is my tendency may not do justice to the lives of these children. Their lives are not neat, not sure. They’re messy, disjointed, uncertain, short, hard. They’re no shoes ripped clothes no clothes rocky ground mud huts no Mom-when’s-dinner don’t mention food. They’re red eyes hovering flies dirty water never settling endless dusty dirty dirt. But this is not seeing with God’s eyes.

We are foolish and blind if we feel any pity borne of a sense of superiority, if we fail to see the similarities between their outwardly ugly lives and the stench of our inward, awful, unaddressed sin. But the beauty of our visit to the village was that, whether or not anyone went in blind, everyone came out seeing with spectacular clarity, souls refreshed.

We were told we were going to play with the kids, to be little Christs to them, to shower them with love and affection and attention. We were also going with some insecurities, with some frustration with the language barrier, with the hardwired need to perform. In short, we all, as in any situation, brought our own needs and desires with us, although not anticipating ours, too, to be addressed in addressing the kids’.

Their ability to give and receive love is stunning. In my own soul, where Guilt often thwarts my ability to voice my own needs and Shame still whispers this lie that having any in the first place is excessive and condemnable, I was met by these sparkling lights—shiny, unashamed, eager eyes. It took nothing at all to please them, instantly doing away with the performance drive. We could do nothing but sit and watch the boys play football and the girls would clamor to sit in our laps and hold our hands, to braid our hair and try on our sunglasses. We could take pictures and not exchange a single word, but with a smile say everything that needed saying. We could bask in delighting in each other and soak up each others' joy.

As Deanna observed—how much more is our Father in Heaven satisfied and delighted when we simply sit in His lap! I was even charmed by the baby tantruming and pouring dirt and then spit on me, so long as she was in my arms. And I, too, am dirty and smelly and still how He dearly loves me, His "special possession" (1 Peter 2:9). He finds me exquisitely beautiful and precious; He longs to hold me and wash me, longs for me to “still and quiet my soul; like a weaned child with its mother” (Psalm 130:2) and “under his wings find refuge” (Psalm 91:4).

“Receiving the kingdom of God like a little child” (Mark 10:15), with childlike faith and giving and devotion, gained tangible meaning on a Friday afternoon in the village of Chambrun. And Heaven broke out in my heart as I, in yet another instance on this trip, grasped the total love and unconditional acceptance of our Lord, my heavenly Mother and Father, who always and ever will and never-will-not “receive me” (Psalm 27:10).

“[Jesus] said to [the disciples], ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’” (Mark 10:14)

[Nehemiah has organized a child sponsorship program. $40/month goes to a child's education, healthcare, and food; 100% of the funds to the kids. Please prayerfully consider supporting the program. More information about the ministry and the kids can be found at: nehemiahvisionministries.org.]